Better
While we’re still not technically up to the “Professional Help” goal of $800-per-thing, I really wanted folks to get an idea of how important that goal actually is. Unlike every other song I’ve released to the Officer’s Club, this one was sent to Benny Grotto at Mad Oak Studios for mixing…
…and wow, do I wanna do this every month. If you heard my Demo Version, this version absolutely destroys that one. The technical skills involved in keeping the bass, guitars, drums, keyboards, and vocals from crowding each other and sounding muddled is beyond my skill level. But not Benny’s.
From now on, assuming I can afford it (read: help me recruit more Officers!), I hope to make every new single sound this good. It saves me time and energy that’s better spent on the arrangement and songwriting.
Also, PLEASE SHARE THIS SONG so people know what they’re gonna get if they help us hit that Professional Help goal!
ABOUT THE SONG
(You may remember this part from the Demo Version.)
So… here’s a song about my raging insecurities. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
It’s not easy being with someone who often feels, as Jon Stewart put it, “embarrassingly superior to you.” Especially when you’re an artist, which typically means you’re held together by a structural web of neuroses in the first place. I often find myself feeling “not good enough” for a lot of things. My boyfriend, my fans, an audience of strangers at a new venue, etc.
While this song’s roots are autobiographical, I decided to take it to extreme levels for the sake of art and entertainment.
I also had a lot of trouble arranging this one, knowing that it’d be the first song I sent off to Benny Grotto for proper mixing. That’s why you’re just getting the Demo version of this one this month, but next month you’ll be able to compare this to the professionally-engineered version with REAL drums and better ears.
I told Runtt NOT to listen to this demo version, just the drumless version. There was a lot of great spontaneous stuff going on when we recorded this, I think it turned out amazing!
It sucks writing about issues like inadequacy, but how often do I get to write a men’s chorus section involving fake tits? This one’s a bit of a roller coaster ride, for sure.
MP3 Version:
WAV Version:
LYRICS:
Baby if I told you I was loaded would you love me any better? Maybe if my bank account was bloated it would mean you'd love me better. You tell me that I'm worth it but I know I can't compare, so I fake my sunny stare no one knows how much I'm scared. I could listen to some music that I hated if you think it sounds better. I suppose that I could be manipulated if you wanna make me better. Well I can't shake this fear that I'm not good enough I guess. If I said i was a mess, would you love me any less?CHORUS: 'Cause I can't make you love me any more. Every day's just like the one before, and I'm so tired of waking up and wondering if you'll be there when I do. Maybe if I cleaned up all your messes then you'd love me so much better. If I shave my legs and wore some shorter dresses wouldn't I look so much better? I know you say you want me but I don't think I'm cut out. I keep hanging on these doubts and my grip is giving out. Tell if I got fake tits, do you think I'd look better? If I said that if you leave I'll slit my wrists, would it make you love me better? I get so much attention but it's never quite enough and I just can't keep this up. No I just can't keep this up.BRIDGE: Turn my head off for a moment, take a breath and close my eyes. You can see right through my smile, this well-rehearsed disguise. You've been holding me together on this untamed rocket ride keeping me from burning out when I've been burning up inside, you couldn't love me better if you tried. You couldn't love me better if you tried.CHORUS: And I couldn't make you love me any more Every day's just like the years before and I won't have to wake up wondering if you're gonna be there when I do.(Repeat)
